FRIENDS

                                                                     

  I look at the giggling faces under the long beautiful hair, I see the holey jeaned carefully clad young people and wish that giggle was the umbrella attitude over their young life. That they could laugh at the future and the present .  But I have seen and heard too much of the loneliness and tears, the aching hearts and despairing souls to believe that this is real. I see too much of my  own heart too.  I see the box where they get their white smile,  the many bottles in the shower where they manufacture perfectly textured hair, the bulging cosmetic bags that ensure they never lose the youthful beauty they now possess, and the carefully selected foods that assure the body will not decay too soon.  And I wonder how beautiful, brilliant, kind hearted souls  may come to believe that they may not be loved without all this.  How many could come to believe that in a  multitude of friends only is satisfaction of heart, and a single loyal friend is cause to doubt their lovableness?  Some receive warm fuzzies and suspect cold prickles underlie the kisses and hugs.  For some, the text they did not get, the invite they hoped to receive and the confidence they were left out of , seems the one thing that would have confirmed their worth and proven their relationship.  So each is in the power of the other, hoping to get, afraid to give, looking to prove what they suspect about their value and despairing in their perceived solitude.   A brief unintended look makes them doubt the last word they spoke or laugh they bellowed was appropriate or acceptable.   And instead of giving their beautiful quirky self to others, they endlessly try to conform it and change it to meet the expectations they have invented. And they are never able to confidently meet the ghostly standard.  

    And the few who have not set this snare and fallen into it,  stand out and hold a light that, it seems, no one sees.  They are not surrounded by the followers or conformed to the false standards and so are free to give and walk away and be content with their best friend, their human skin and teeth, and the styles that suit them.  Casual friendship is okay, without wondering why they are not the "bestie" and attributing it to their frail imperfect humanity.  

    Jesus looks on each heart and laughs at the perfect hair and white teeth and young skin because he sees the invaluable treasure they each are .   He knows that outwardly he too was scarred and unbecoming,  without loyal friends, but became the treasured relationship to so many.  He sees the brevity of their days and wonders why it seems an eternity to them.  He sees the quirky imperfections as beautiful gifts to be given to each other and grieves the missing pieces their conformity  takes from His family.  And He longs for them to feel and know the depth of his love and acceptance filling their heart when others can not or will not.  For He knows that then they could give without needing and love without constant disappointment.  He loves them, heart and soul  and imperfect flesh and longs for them to love the same way.  The giggle is intended to display a steadfast heart that blankets their relationships beginning with the One that matters.  May their outward beauty be but  a thin umbrella braced with sure faith  and a knowledge of His steadfast love that covers their soul.

Create in us a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within us.
Psalm 51:10  paraphrase mine