WAITING

                                                               WAITING

     I don't do it well, this waiting.  I want to talk and solve and plan but higher goals demand my silence , my stillness, my pretend.  His work in me is the waiting while He works through others.  Prayer is halting, distracted ,hard .   Capturing thoughts is war.  When I can not sit them down, He pushes them through clear and honest.  I read and read but words don't mean too much.  But words from memory come when needed, (why don't I store up more for times like these?)  I want to talk and share and cry to someone flesh but not if work is hindered by my rush.  So I wait and pace and cry.  I laugh too when covering fret so others will not ask, and I will not speak.  Pretending seems the hollow thing, but necessary for the cause, for a while for the battle with my flesh.  Waiting is not an easy work to one so busy doing,  kindred to  Martha.  Sitting at his feet and waiting, soaking, hoping, trusting, requires soul that trusts and believes.   I  Remember sitting on my father's lap waiting for the talk to end so I could have a say, but falling asleep.  Lap warm, father strong, waiting but not worrying, steady voices talking, lulling me to peaceful sleep even while waiting my turn. That sweet peace so hard now to feel from Father of my soul, though His lap is warmer, stronger, steadier.  My plan seems good and well thought out, but not the one He is using.  Can I let it be and trust the One who waited for the time of His father's plan?  Wait and call upon  and trust His doing unseen?  This the work He does in me while waiting for  His work in them. 

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Ps 27:14