It steals my joy and consumes my heart. It paralyses my to-do list and
complicates my relationships. It intensifies as I think about it and submit
my plans to its ensnaring form. It
reveals a weak faith and a weaker heart.
It makes a hypocrisy of the truth
I speak to those around me. It warps my view of this world and it's
circumstances. It increases with time
away from Him and decreases with each step of obedience that disobeys this
powerful feeling. The capacity for it is
created in me for one purpose and my natural heart twists it to another and
elevates it to master without a constant effort to master it. It causes me to look at people I love and see
the potential disaster before I see the potential for God to work in them. And so it commands me to hush up when I
should speak and to speak when I should trust, to control when I should release
and to back off when I should charge in.
He knew my tendency to submit to this
illusion of power and greatness, and so He gave me many more than 365 reminders
in His word to keep it only for Him.
Plenty of reminders for each day of the years of my life, because He
knew the struggle would be a daily one for all of his creation. And isn't that the problem with all of these emotions
and compulsions that have been contorted in the broken mirror of our heart, the
dailyness of our battle? It makes for
times of weakness and weariness to contribute to our fall. And that is why He gives grace and new
mercies for us each day. And He asks us
to turn our thoughts to that truth and His greatness to reduce this distorted monstrous
reflection to it's true size and nature, small and beautiful in its place. After all when it is put next to the greatness
and lovingkindness of God , it seems a ridiculous enemy. But only the daily bath in truth will keep
the image true. This lens of truth we
are given to see the image clearly is easy to neglect and easier to set aside
and chose the convenience of looking with our naked eye. Fear
need only be our master's tool when real danger and power is present,
motivating us to bow to Him and flee from all that hinders our view. And I pray you do not judge the genuineness
of His truth by the weakness in my walk, another fear to be submitted to grace
and power before it discourages my efforts.
And the reason I do not fear
is not the promise of sunny skies and
pretty lives, but the promise of His presence reminding me that the reflection we see is warped for
now. But one day His presence will be
permanent and physical with no need for a mirror to reflect this world or His
glory. So fear not, but find grace for when I give this feeling a place too
great in my life and obey it's ugly command.
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face
to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. I Cor. 13:12
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I
am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with
my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
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